Acceptance

Worthless. Wasted flesh. Whore.

Those words, those fucking words, rang through my head as I tried desperately to drown them out with Rob Zombie's voice.

Worthless.

I couldn't stop the tears. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't make it stop. I ran harder. I ran faster. My right knee was throbbing, screaming, begging me to stop. I ignored it. I pushed further. One mile? Done. I was still sobbing, crying like a forgotten bitch. I kept going.

Wasted flesh.

Again and again those words. Everybody's seen you; why should it matter now? You never talked to me. You talked to everyone else. You wanted everyone else. You're on your own now.
Three miles, done.

Jesus Christ, even my dog is whimpering now. My knees has gone numb. I can't gulp enough air in to fuel my sobbing. Five miles...

Whore.

Down to my knees, I fell. But this time there was nothing sexual about it. Broken. Defeated. Shattered... I wailed there, right there in the middle of the road in broad daylight. The tiny bits of rocks and small gravel dug into my bare flesh.

I don't know if I still believe in you; fuck, I really don't think I do. But damnit, if you're there, if you're really as aware and big as they all fucking say you are... I've got nothing left.

Worthless.

Wasted flesh.

Whore.

Tears that earlier stubbornly refused to fall finally cease. I scratched my dog's head and smiled at him. He raised his ears and glanced towards home. I nodded and got up. Slowly, intentionally, I walked home.

Acceptance.